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A good story about the situation in Palestine from 60 Minutes.

Watch CBS Videos Online

From David Letterman

From CNN

The Onion has been having a great time the past few months writing stories detailing wonderfully creative and excruciatingly painful things happening to Bush.

Spider Eggs Hatch In Bush’s Brain

WASHINGTON-President Bush collapsed to the floor of the Oval Office during a meeting with advisers when spiderlings hatched from thousands of egg sacs affixed between the hemispheres of his brain, according to a White House memo released Monday. The spiders severed the president’s corpus callosum and ate through the motor-control center of the brain, doctors said, causing Bush’s body to jerk involuntarily as a scurrying mass of crab spiders emerged from his mouth and crawled down his face. Witnesses confirmed that a number of spiders also discharged from the president’s tear ducts. Secret Service agents restrained the president and carried him to the White House medical facility, but doctors said that by the time Bush arrived, the arachnids had already consumed his corneas, pupils, and vitreous humor. Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital.

Bush Passes Three-Pound Kidney Stone

WASHINGTON-President Bush collapsed in the Oval Office after spontaneously expelling a 3-pound kidney stone from his bladder, sources reported Tuesday. According to witnesses, the president was attending his daily Iraq War briefing when he suddenly began shrieking loudly and clutching his abdomen, a mixture of blood and urine pooling rapidly around his feet. Bush was able to maintain consciousness through more than 20 minutes of excruciating pain, even after the jagged, grapefruit-sized crystal aggregation shredded his urethra and dropped from his left pant leg, finally rolling to a stop on the presidential seal in the middle of the Oval Office carpet. Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital.

Bush’s Eyelid Accidentally Nailed To Wall

WASHINGTON-President George W. Bush sustained a perforation injury to his right eyelid when a pneumatic nail gun malfunctioned and shot a 12-centimeter-long iron nail that entered Bush’s superonasal sclera, exited through his upper eyelid, and then penetraed the wall of the White House Blue Room. The president remained pinned to the wall for a period of 27 hours before help arrived. According to witnesses, Bush was found passed out with blood dripping from his right tear duct. Doctors confirmed that the intraocular foreign body was removed during a four-hour operation Sunday, and reported significant damage to Bush’s supratrochlear nerve, likely caused by the president’s unsuccessful attempt to forcibly rip his eyelid in half to escape. It is unclear whether he will ever regain sight in his right eye. Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital.

Crocodile Bites Off Bush’s Arm

HOMESTEAD, FL-A 14-foot crocodile bit off President Bush’s left arm at the shoulder Monday, a White House memo reported. Bush, who was reportedly standing waist-deep in a swamp at Everglades National Park when the crocodile struck, also sustained severe puncture wounds and torn flesh in his hip and upper thigh. According to witnesses, Bush attempted to fend off the large reptile with his left arm, but the crocodile latched onto it above the elbow, dragged the president underwater, and ripped his arm from its socket. Bush’s severed arm was unable to be recovered. Doctors confirmed that he will be fitted with a prosthetic limb in a procedure Friday, and that he is currently being treated for sepsis. Bush is resting comfortably in Annapolis Naval Hospital.

Bush Dragged Behind Presidential Motorcade For 26 Blocks

KANSAS CITY, MO-President Bush sustained serious head injuries, massive internal bleeding, and a broken left leg Monday morning after being accidentally dragged behind the presidential motorcade for a period of 15 minutes. According to Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan, Bush’s necktie became caught in the trunk of the motorcade’s second vehicle at 4:13 p.m., shortly before the driver accelerated. The president was dragged down 175th Street for 26 blocks and through four stoplights, leaving a trail of blood more than a mile long. Upon hearing shouts emanating from behind his vehicle, the driver abruptly applied the brakes, causing the third car in the motorcade to run over the president’s left leg at a speed of approximately 25 miles per hour. President Bush is resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital.

Bush Tumbles Wildly Down Washington Monument Staircase

WASHINGTON-President George W. Bush sustained 24 broken bones, massive internal hemorrhaging, and a severe concussion Monday after falling down the entire staircase of the 555-foot-tall Washington Monument. According to White House press secretary Dana Perino, Bush was making his weekly climb to the monument’s observation floor when he lost his footing on the top step, slipped, and struck each of the obelisk’s 897 stairs with the back of his skull during an uncontrolled descent to the base of the structure. President Bush is resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital.

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2 | The Daily Show | Comedy Central

Cool!

Alex Grey Obama Painting

He’s so awesome.

My friend John sent this and I thought it was interesting. Rights for minorities are rarely increased at the ballot box. It says a lot of good things about CA that we came so incredibly close. Shame on those who stayed home.

Also, I have a pile of money waiting for the organization that is going to run constant, incessant but pleasant pro-gay-marriage advertisements in Utah from now until 2012. Really, they just need to get to know us better and they won’t hate us so much.

You all probably know my feelings about me personally writing on this kind of topic, but I just had to express a bit of shock that borders on incredulity…

My thought goes like this, “Was this years election less important and less likely to get voters out to the polls then the 2004 election?” Here’s why I ask:

Take these two pages from the CA Secretary of State, both of which say 100% of precincts have reported:

2008 Election Results
2004 Election Results

According to these numbers:

1. 400,405 more Californians went to the polls for Kerry than Obama.
2. 1,625,143 more Californians went to the polls for Bush than McCain.
3. 47,380 more Californians voted for all other parties in 2004 than 2008.

That means, overall, 2,072,928 more Californians voted in 2004 than 2008.

Nationally in 2004, according to CNN (with 100% of precincts counted), 121,068,715 Americans voted as opposed to 122,326,868 (with 99% of precincts counted as of this writing) in 2008, for a difference of 1,258,153 more in 2008.

So, more Americans in general turned out for this “historic” election but Californians must have considered it less “historic” since we were expecting higher turnout yet more than two million of us just decided not to show up. (Really, that’s a question.)

My point (if it’s not painfully obvious)? Prop 8 won by 510,000 votes, but where the fuck are these other two million (at least) voters?

Suspiciously Yours,
John

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

In San Francisco tonight there was an impromptu celebration where San Franciscans were roaming the streets chanting an American president’s name. People were carrying American flags with pride in the Castro, with other people cheering them on. Need I say more? Not more than a few years ago these same people where in the streets protesting the American president in the same streets and likely to set the same flag aflame. Can anyone remember an occasion in any of our lifetimes where people, anywhere, were roaming the streets chanting the name of an American president?

How My Lesbian Boss Makes Me a Better Father

A short while after my son was born, my wife brought him into the office to meet my co-workers. My wife was still nursing. My infant son was hungry and my wife was going to breast feed him in my crammed office. Within seconds of learning this, my boss cleared everyone out of the comfortable lounge where we entertain high-profile clients, magically pulled her old nursing pillow out of a nearby closet, and immediately put my wife at ease. I stood in amazement as I watched the scenario unfold. My boss looked at me and said, “Don’t just stand there, get her a glass of water.” I never forgot the glass of water again and it was the first of many lessons my lesbian boss has taught me about how to be a better father.

There was another time my boss walked in on the nervous phone argument I was having with my wife over whether or not we were going to vaccinate our child. She stopped what she was doing, led me into her office where she promptly whipped out the paper equivalent of the Warren Commission report on pros and cons of childhood vaccinations.

I could list dozens of similar examples of the parental wisdom that has been passed down from my boss. She and her wife are super-moms. You would be hard pressed to find parents who love their kids as much or who are as actively engaged in the well-being and development of children. When my wife and I wrestle with the millions of choices parents wrestle with, we often look to the decisions made by other parents we respect as a guide. Kelly and Linda would be at the top of that list. If there is one thing fatherhood has taught me, it is that good parents help make other parents good. And very often we straight Dads can use all the advice we can get.

Margaret sent this to me. Raises an interesting point. Imagine if Democrats had been playing from the Republican playbook this year. There’s plenty of material to make equally scary charges against McCain.

—-

A question of perspective :Obama/Biden vs. McCain/Palin, what if
things were switched around? Think about it. Would the country’s
collective point of view be different? Could racism be the culprit?

Ponder the following:

What if the Obama’s had paraded five children across the stage,
including a three-month-old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage
daughter?

What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?

What if Obama was the candidate who left his first wife after a severe
disfiguring car accident, when she no longer measured up to his
standards?

What if Obama had met his second wife in a bar and had a long affair
while he was still married?

What if Michelle Obama was the wife who not only became addicted to
painkillers but also acquired them illegally through her charitable
organization?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five
were 5 US Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major
political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the
late 1980s and early 1990s.)

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included
discipline problems and a record of crashing seven planes?

What if Obama was the one who was known to display publicly, on many
occasions, a serious anger management problem?

What if Michelle Obama’s family had made their money from beer distribution?

What if the Obama’s had adopted a white child?

You could easily add to this list. If these questions reflected
reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close
as they are? This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and
minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative
qualities in another when there is a color difference.

EDUCATION BACKGROUND:

Barack Obama:
*Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in
International Relations.
* Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude / Joseph Biden:
*University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
*Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)<

vs.

John McCain:
*United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin:
* Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
* North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
* University of Idaho - 2 semesters – journalism
* Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
* University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism.

Education isn’t everything, but this is about the two highest offices
in the land as well as our standing in the world. You make the call.

I got this in email. Purty funny.

We’ve decided we’re leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma, and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss.

We get 85 percent of America ’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we’re not willing to spend our resources in Bush’s Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country’s fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95 percent of America’s quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. Wow…takes your breath away……….

By the way, we’re taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico .

Peace out,
Blue States

Awesome.

YouTube - Lil’ O’Reilly

hope you hit a whale on your way to france.

I realize this is becoming like the Sarah Palin blog, but I just couldn’t resist. She’s just so funny. Eat your heart out, Harriet Miers.

I love that quote.

Palin should step down, conservative commentator says

I also loved this parody on youtube.

Interesting comparison of the economic plans of both candidates.

The Associated Press: Obama and McCain have big economic differences

Under Obama, the wealthiest 1 percent of taxpayers, those making roughly $600,000 or more, would see their taxes go up on average by $93,709 in 2009, according to an analysis done by the Tax Policy Center, because Obama would begin implementing his tax changes even before the scheduled expiration of the Bush cuts.

Under McCain, those same taxpayers would see an average reduction of $48,860, reflecting in part additional cuts he is proposing.

By contrast, the bottom 20 percent of taxpayers, those with taxable income of roughly $19,000 per year or less, would see their taxes cut by an average of $567 under Obama’s program and $21 under McCain’s plan, the tax center estimates.

For the 20 percent of taxpayers right in the middle of the income scale, making roughly between $37,600 and $66,400, the tax break would be $1,118 under the Obama plan and $325 under the McCain plan in 2009, according to the analysis done by the tax center, a joint venture of the Urban Institute and the Brookings Institution, two Washington think tanks.

I just found this little bookmarklet and thought it was worth passing along. I let’s you search the site you’re currently looking at using Google. Just drag the link below onto your links bar in your browser. Then when you’re looking at a site you want to search, just press the new link button you made to search that site. Nice when the site doesn’t have a search feature (that works).

Search Site